Hello friend. Don’t worry, we’ve met before. I’ve seen you around at sports bars, dive bars, posh bars, clubs, shit I’ve even seen you at that one bar where they had awful trivia and terrible food.
Yes friend, I’ve seen you around, wandering lost in the wilderness, searching for that one bar you can call home, for the intelligent sports talk you are entitled to, and just generally looking for a good time.
Follow me, I’ll make it all ok. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Why don’t you sit down and listen for a moment? I promise that I won’t spout the usual nonsense you’re tired of hearing. I’m no fan of useless drivel, so trust me, I’m not going to waste your time. Enjoy yourself, relax, you’re amongst friends.
–Cad T. Wasp